By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
