Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I believe in your delicious
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
