just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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