could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
