you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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