I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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