I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
