I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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