the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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