I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
