highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Randomize
