He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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