You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize