Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
