i need an iv and a liver transplant
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
