yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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