i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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