i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
