she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
