Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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