if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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