Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
