I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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