found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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