Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
