he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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