are you still at the devil's house?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
