just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
