I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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