You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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