It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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