she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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