I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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