Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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