and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
