can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
