i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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