The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
