I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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