Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
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Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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