is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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