if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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