Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize