My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize