There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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