Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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