Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
