I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
