____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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