She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
