There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
