Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
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You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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