I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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