after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
