She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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