Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
