Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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